The Perfect Example Of No Game

Friday night in South Beach. My three friends and I started our night at Prime One Twelve. We had one of the best meals of my life - filet mignon,  scallops, short ribs, plenty of drinks, and yummy desserts. If you haven't been, I highly recommend making a reservation & enjoying a meal at Prime One Twelve.

After dinner, each of us change into our party clothes. I decided to wear a black sheath dress - I actually think it's a tunic, but it fits me like a dress, and with a belt it shows off every curve on my body. I've lost more weight since I've worn this dress, and I look even better in it. My friend TG looks like a model, literally. She's tall, thin, yet has a great rack & a killer sense of style. She looks hot in a sexy tailored dress she picked up earlier in the day at Barney's Coop. My other friends MK & LM look great too, in a strapless dress & a sheath dress, respectively.

Once we're dressed & looking good, we head out & hop into a cab. Tonight's first destination: the W Hotel in South Beach. We decided to start there and see what was up for the rest of the night. At the door, TG realizes she doesn't have her ID, but we make our way instead anyway. It's a beautiful night - warm, with a nice breeze, so we stay outside & head to the pool bar for our first round of drinks. We sip cucumber and strawberry mojitos, while we grab table & enjoy the evening.

Before long, we have 2 admirers, R & M. They're friends, in town for the American Black Film Festival...though they seem to be the type of men who don't need a reason or an excuse to make their way to Miami. They've traveled down from DC to mix & mingle, party & enjoy the ladies.

We all fall into a comfy conversation, with TG & I taking the lead. The conversation leads to football, where M & I discover we're both Colts fans. While M goes to fetch more drinks, R & TG discuss the city of Chicago. M returns with drinks, and rejoins the football conversation. After a few comments, its clear that he's not actually the Colts fan he claims he is, I playfully remark that I should take his Colts fan card. His reply? "Oh its up in my room, come upstairs with me  to get it".

Strike one dude.

For a moment, I had to process what I heard. Was it as corny and lame as I thought? Why yes, yes it was! I subtly shake my head & say "no thanks" before returning to the group conversation. My entire energy has changed, and so has M's, because now he's browsing on his phone & allowing TG and R to dominate the conversation.

Before I can register that it's beginning to rain, the sky opens up & we're forced to make a mad dash inside the club. We post up near the bar & keep the party going with another round of drinks. Some friends join us, but M has checked out & is now scouting for chicks in the club. As the club becomes more crowded, we're pushed closer to each other. Until finally, he jostles my drink, spilling some on my foot. When I remark to him that my foot is now wet, his answer is to offer to lick off the spilled liquor. Before I can even reply to that, he then proceeds to tell me that he'd love to lick something else too...something that starts with a C & ends in "lingus".

Strike two and three dude.


Listen, I know when folks go on vacation, especially men, they wanna get laid. The desire is even more urgent when they haven't gotten any at home in the while. But to be so corny & lame with it? Not the way to get some vacation sex at all. It's just a turnoff.

I politely gave M a very firm "no thanks, won't ever happen homie" and sent him about his way. He headed over to the bar where he found a girl attempting her best Kim Kardashian look. Did he take her home? Who knows...but he looked happy as he left.

Maybe she let him lick her.