20. Tired Of Being Tired

 
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Friends, it has not been a good week, if you are a woman.

I can’t even say that I’m surprised. The legislation that’s been passed in Georgia, Alabama, Missouri, Ohio (and being considered other places) is draconian, cruel and should be illegal. It is an example that freedom is not free, and that we’re all under assault. Yet part of me is also feeling a bit of smugness, because we’re in this position because so many white women voted against their own self-interests, especially in state-level races. Republicans across the country are emboldened to make The Handmaid’s Tale a reality, and it’s all because white people decided they were being left behind in the world. How sad and short-sighted of them.

I won’t rehash the countless articles, blog posts, and social media posts that outline just why these laws are so terrible. I will however, urge you to read this incredible Twitter thread from Design Mom, and to encourage you to do whatever you can to fight back, be it with your money, your time or your influence.

I’m tired yall. I’ve been tired for a long time. Many of us sounded the alarm years ago, but we were drowned out by the choruses of “but her emails” and “lock her up!” And so, here we are, and very soon America will be Gilead and we’ll all be Under His Eye. I hope yall are ready.

Things I Read This Week:

“Am I bad person?” Why one mom didn’t take her kid to the ER — even after poison control said to. (Vox)

Even Breadwinning Wives Don’t Get Equality at Home (The Atlantic)

I’m the Longest-Serving Republican in the Iowa Legislature, and I’m Switching Parties (The Atlantic)

Your Big Bank Sucks. It’s Time to Bail Yourself Out. (MEL Magazine)

The NYTimes Comments Section Breaks Out Into White Nonsense Over the Aperol Spritz (Pajiba)

The Supreme Court’s Worst Decision of My Tenure (The Atlantic)

A Teen Designed A Graduation Cap That Directs People To A List Of Students Killed In School Shootings (Buzzfeed)

Elizabeth Warren Deserves Your Undivided Attention (GQ)

our traditionally male company has an annual golf trip — but our new female employees don’t play (Ask A Manager)

Nearly a third of millennial moms are having postpartum sex before they feel ready (and that's not okay) (Motherly)

Other Stuff:

I made these carrot cake cupcakes this week and they are so unbelievably good. I’m not normally a carrot cake fan but I love these.

I absolutely love everything in this doula story - I had a doula for Josephine’s birth, and I can’t imagine getting through my 36 hour labor and c-section delivery without her. Every mama should have access to a doula.

This week I worked with two coaching clients! It was really awesome to connect with two separate people looking to make a career change, and put my expertise to practice. If you’re looking for some help in your career, I’m available for Career Mentoring as well as Ace the Interview Prep Sessions.

End your week on a high note with this video of Method Man

Let’s all get some self-care this weekend - take care of yourself and your people!

19. Things I Ponder - What Makes Certain Entertainment "Hold Up"?

 
Photo by  Guilherme Almeida  from  Pexels
 

We made it to another weekend!

I love pop culture, especially stuff that I grew up, especially movies and TV shows. Lately I’ve been thinking about one specific question: what makes a movie or TV show “hold up”? For the unfamiliar, I think of “holding up” as being able to be enjoyed years later and still be in touch with current society. There are shows that I was still watch and love that definitely fit the criteria of holding up, and others that I watch solely for the nostalgia because they definitely do not hold up, for various reasons.

Take, for example, Golden Girls - a show that I think completely holds up 30 years later. It’s still so funny and the jokes still work in 2019. And their serious episodes all fall on the right side of history, whether it’s tackling gay & lesbian issues, interracial marriage, the AIDS epidemic, undocumented immigrants, etc. Similarly, I think Living Single holds up in the same way - the storylines were (mostly) realistic, the jokes are still funny and it’s still very relatable in 2019. Contrast that with a show like Sex and the City, which feels really dated even though it was a more recent show. I think it doesn’t hold up because the setup was so unbelievable, from Carrie’s designer habit to portraying a NYC with virtually no people of color. It’s also out of step with current cultural norms - for example, you can hear the term “tranny” on the show, which is a no-no. Another is Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, a movie which I loved as a kid, but as an adult I realize is so incredibly racist in its portrayal of India. There’s no way that movie would ever get greenlit in 2019.

I’m formulating a theory in my head around what makes a TV show or movie “hold up” but I’m curious what other people think - what would you highlight as a TV show or movie that still holds up in 2019?

Things I Read This Week:

Not all of West Side Story has aged gracefully, but its spectacular dancing sure has (A.V. Club)

Black Voters Get That Bernie Marched With MLK. They Want To Know What He’ll Do For Them Now. (Buzzfeed)

LOFT’s New Mommy-And-Me Collection is ADORABLE (The Mom Edit)

Lyft Says It’s ‘Not in the Transportation Business,’ So Disability Law Doesn't Apply (Gizmodo)

Seattle Times Journalist Suspended After Harassing Writer With Gross Twitter DMs (Jezebel)

The Midwest Isn't Just White People (Jezebel)

The True Road Warriors: How Men With Disabilities Travel the World (MEL Magazine)

Switching Political Parties (Design Mom)

Alexa has been eavesdropping on you this whole time (CT Post)

Tweak the Vote | Radiolab | WNYC Studios (Radiolab)

The Coming Generation War (The Atlantic)

Representation Matters: 35 Black Kids TV Shows You Can Watch Right Now (Mater Mea)

The politics of home (Curbed)

Other Stuff:

I took advantage of the Sephora VIB sale to restock on some of my favorite items: L’Occitane hand cream, a Benefit brow pencil, and Clarisonic replacement brush heads. I also picked up the Fenty Beauty Instant Warmth Bronzer in Caramel Cutie - I hope it looks good!

I haven’t been doing much reading lately - my free time is taken up by writing and knitting - but I picked up The 7 1/2 Deaths of Evelyn Hardcastle because I couldn’t resist after reading a quick synopsis.

This weekend is Mother’s Day weekend! I won’t get to spend it with my mom but I did make sure to get her gift and cards in the mail so hopefully she gets both before Sunday. I’ll be spending the day with my little one. For all the moms out there, I hope you enjoy it in whatever way is good for you.

Enjoy your weekend!

18. It's Never Too Late To Start Over

 
Photo courtesy of Pixistock

Photo courtesy of Pixistock

 

Yay, it’s the weekend! How’d your week go?

If you go back into my archives, you see they stop at 2015. That’s because this week I deleted everything that was published prior to mid-2015. When I originally set up JTM Writes, I imported all the posts from my previous blog, which went all the way back to 2007! In those 8 years, a lot of life happened to me - I moved, I changed careers, I met my husband and got married. Those old posts were part journal, part time capsule, but I felt them like a weight around my neck. I wanted to be free of that history and embrace the future, not be bogged down with the past. And so after a quick Google search on “how to mass delete blog posts in Squarespace”, I deleted all my old posts.

Sometimes it can be hard to let go of things that you worked on for so long, but its also freeing to just drop everything and start over. Most of us get caught up in the fallacy of sunken costs, and it holds us hostage to situations that aren’t serving us, because we feel we “wasted” the time we spent already. I choose to look at life as a continuous learning opportunity, and therefore none of my time is ever wasted, because I’m always learning. My early blogging years gave me the confidence to apply for a writing fellowship and to become a freelance writer, and I’m forever grateful. And now its time to retire that part of my journey.

I’m also reminding myself that it’s not too late to start over as I embark on my third career, starting a consulting firm. Learn about how you can work with me at JareesaTuckerMcClure.com.

Things I Read This Week:

The best $16 I ever spent: Old Navy pajamas after my husband left (Vox)

Why is framing a picture so expensive? (Vox)

Reviewers Wanted (Smart Bitches, Trashy Books)

Twitter Could Ban the Nazis Whenever It Wants, but It'd Rather Blow Trump All Day, Everyday (Pajiba)

How In Living Color Tricked Fox’s Censors to Get Jokes on Air (Vanity Fair)

The Underlying Messages That Screen-Time Recommendations Send Parents (The Atlantic)

When Did Celebrities Get So Bad At Taking Criticism? (Buzzfeed)

How to Find Band-Aids That Match Your Skin Tone (Lifehacker)

Halima Aden Is The First To Model A Burkini In Sports Illustrated (Refinery 29)

How to Help a Friend Facing Infertility (A Cup of Jo)

The Best Money-Saving Beauty Dupes (The Everygirl)

From Defendant to Defender: Theo Shaw, Once Almost Railroaded by the Justice System as One of the Jena 6, Is Now Officially a Lawyer (The Root)

In Defense of Fashion Criticism (Pajiba)

'We Would Not Have All Been White': Cynthia Nixon Reflects on Sex and the City's White Feminism Problem (The Root)

People on Twitter Are Sharing Their Fake Cookbook Names and It's Hilarious (The Kitchn)

More than 100 LuLaRoe sellers have filed for bankruptcy (Vox)

Two HIV Cases Linked to Spa That Gave Trendy 'Vampire Facials' (Jezebel)

The Conversation We Need to Have About Mental Health and Women of Color (The Everygirl)

Avengers: Endgame's Women Deserved More (Gizmodo)

She was the “queen of the mommy bloggers.” Then her life fell apart. (Vox)

What It's Like to Pay 50% of Your Income in Taxes (Lifehacker)

Other Stuff:

It’s wedding season! This weekend I’m attending the wedding of a dear friend, and I’m legit extremely excited. I know it’s going to be an epic party and I’m also really excited to celebrate their union. Plus I just love weddings!

I haven’t baked in awhile - I just haven’t felt the urge - but I want to try this olive oil cake recipe.

For the past month or so, I’ve been taking the time to do my face in the morning, and I’m actually enjoying it. It takes 5-10 minutes in the morning and my routine is pretty simple: foundation, fill in brows, eyeshadow, eyeliner, mascara, blush and lip gloss. I’m also skipping setting powder and using setting spray instead, because of my dry skin. I’ve gotten several compliments (yay!) and it makes me feel more put together.

Have a great weekend!

17. Switching It Up

 
Photo by  Tembela Bohle  from  Pexels

Photo by Tembela Bohle from Pexels

 

Happy Friday friends - we made it to the weekend!

This week I stood in my closet, looked at everything in my section, and declared that I have nothing to wear. Of course that isn’t literally true, but it feels that way. During this long winter I’ve worn the pieces over…and over…and over. I don’t even want to look at another sweater again! The chances of any more snow storms are low (knock on wood) so I’m going to switch over my closet this week. BTW, is that not a thing that people do? I mentioned I was going to do this on Twitter, and someone asked me what it meant! Unfortunately we don’t have the space for my entire wardrobe to live in my closet all-year round, so I have to switch things out based on the season.

I also need to pick up some new items and I’m approaching it thoughtfully this time around. Normally I’ll just go to the mall/browse websites and order whatever is on sale and cute (cause we don’t do full price ever). Last year I read Rachel Miller’s awesome Buzzfeed piece about how she gave herself a dress code, and it immediately struck me as a genius move. When I thought about my own closet, I realized that I actually wear a lot of the same stuff over and over, and some things in my closet are never touched. So as I switch over my closet and incorporate some new pieces, I’m doing it thoughtfully based on what items I actually need (either a staple piece or replacing something I wear regularly) and my personal style/what I enjoy wearing.

My preferred style is classic, almost borderline preppy. I don’t do a lot of prints but I love stripes. For spring and summer, I plan to wear lots of dresses, skirts and slim ankle pants with cute tops and maybe a cardigan as needed (cause yall know I stay freezing). For my shoe collection, invested in a pair of Rothy’s because everyone has raved about how awesome they are, and I picked up some cute flat sandals from J Crew. To round out my wardrobe I’m on the hunt for cute, delicate jewelry, and my look will be complete.

As I pack away my winter stuff I’ll donate my winter things that I didn’t wear this winter, so that I don’t make the same mistake next year.

Things I read this week:

A Troll's Alleged Attempt to Purge Porn Performers from Instagram (Jezebel)

Inside The World Of Stay-At-Home Moms Who Blog For Profit (Buzzfeed News)

Ancestry.com romanticizes slavery to sell you a DNA kit (MPR News)

The Mystery of Business Casual (The Atlantic)

How A Popular Women's Website Became A Pay-To-Play Nightmare (Buzzfeed News)

This Was Supposed to Be a Story About a Bizarre Anti-Vaccine Rally and a Sedated Bear. Then It Got Weird. (Gizmodo)

Is This the Millennial Parent Book? (The Cut)

Earth Day Conundrums (Design Mom)

Oh Uh-Huh, You Need To Wash Your Makeup Brushes. Here's How. (Jezebel)

Abigail Disney Scorches Wage Inequality at Disney: “Reward All of Your Workers Fairly” (Vanity Fair)

I Spent $17K to Freeze My Eggs—and I Regret Every Penny (Glamour)

What Does Being Basic Look Like in 2019? (Man Repeller)

You Can Opt Out of Facial Recognition Screening at an Airport (Lifehacker)

Reply All’s Brilliant Roman Mars Episode Messes With the Podcasting Industry (Vulture)

How airport scanners discriminate against passengers of color (Vox)

The Disciplines Where No Black People Earn Ph.D.s (The Atlantic)

In Defense of Hating Popular Things (MEL Magazine)

Amazon created the expectation of 2-day shipping. Now it needs to scale back. (Vox)

Your Debt Isn't a Personal Failure (Jezebel)

How Did Megan Thee Stallion Become the Next Hottest Rapper Out of Houston? (Vulture)

Other Stuff:

As this post publishes, I’ll be seeing Avengers: Endgame - I truly hope it’s as good as everyone says it will be! I’m actually seeing it twice on Friday so I hope it’s worth sitting through twice in one day.

I’m also volunteering for a few hours at the Yarnover, which is a conference hosted by the MN Knitters Guild. I recently joined and I thought this would be a good way to get involved with the Guild. I also expected to do some shopping but I realized that I have too projects on my to-do list, so I’m going to try to refrain from buying more yarn (but no guarantees!)

Need something to watch on Netflix? I really enjoyed Love Death & Robots.

I’m currently taking clients for both Career Mentoring as well as Ace the Interview Prep Sessions!

Enjoy your weekend!

16. April Showers

 
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Happy Friday friends!

It is officially spring here in Minnesota - the snow is (almost) gone, and now we’re getting rain which is helping everything start to green up. I hear the birds chirping in the morning when I wake up, and sunset doesn’t happen until 8pm. My big coat and snow boots are packed away - now I just need to switch over my closet.

Spring and summer are the best seasons in the Twin Cities and I’m already making plans to get out more as the weather warms up. We’re planning to get a family membership to the MN Zoo, and I love to have brunch/happy hour on a patio or rooftop. William is looking forward to getting out on the golf course and he’s planning his tournament schedule. And of course Phi wants to spend as much time outside as she can.

Things I read this week:

The Underrated Link Between Success and Humility (Man Repeller)

Yes, She’s Checking Out Other People Too — She’s Just Way Better at It (Mel Magazine)

My ancestors were owned by Georgetown University, I soon graduate from there (ABC)

As a Black Mother, My Parenting Is Always Political (The Nation)

Mom Makes 6-Year-Old Party Guests Give Their ‘Build-A-Bear’ Creations To The Birthday Girl (Scary Mommy)

10 Native women you should have learned about in history class (Hello Giggles)

So, you should really be using a rinse aid in your dishwasher (Just Good Shit)

He Helped Wrongfully Convict a Vegas Man. Two Decades Later, His Daughter Worked on a Law to Make Amends. (ProPublica)

What Changes When the Presidential Field Is Full of Mothers, Not Just Fathers (The Cut)

Is your pregnancy app sharing your data? (Motherly)

Code Names and Secret Lives: How a Radical Underground Network Helped Women Get Abortions Before They Were Legal (Vanity Fair)

Things I loved this week:

I highly recommend you give the new Anderson Paak album a spin! I listened during my workday and before I knew it, I’d made it to the end of the album with no skips! I love music that helps me get in the zone when I’m trying to concentrate, and this album is that for me.

Also the GOAT, our Queen, Beyonce dropped the Homecoming documentary on Wednesday - how many times have you watched? I’ve watched it twice so far, and it’s just so damn good.

Enjoy your weekend friends!