Recap of the Season 5 Premiere of "The Game"

It's been a year since BET brought The Game back to tv. The last season was...interesting. It left some to be desired...but sadly I couldn't stop watching. So I'm back for Season 5.

When we last left the cast at the Season 4 finale, a lot was going on. Malik had confessed to fucking the team's owner's wife, & his boo had fallen off the wagon. Jason became a full-time parent to the new Brit Brat, who sucks btw. Kelly couldn't get her shit together & went to go find herself. And Melanie & Derwin tried to have a baby with no success, which led them to a fertility clinic...and which led to Derwin asking Melanie about an abortion from her past. Yeah they left us with that crazy ass cliffhanger & they better answer it in tonight's 1 hour premiere.

Aight so the season premiere opens with Melanie telling Derwin to come to grips with her having an abortion; Jenna laid out in Malik's garage; Jason trying to defend himself with some random ass bottles. Weird. All that before the damn credits. What the hell do they have planned this season?

When we return from commercial break, we see that it's 12 hours earlier. Melanie & Derwin are leaving the doctor's office. Derwin's pissed & wanting to talk about the abortion, while Melanie is fine & denying it ever happened. She leaves & winds up talking to herself outside. And then she runs into McHottie, that skanky doctor she was being all trashy with. And he makes this comment about not wanting kids & how Melanie knows that (hmmm....). Derwin arrives & there's some non-witty banter between McHottie & Derwin - really we could have cut all this btw. Derwin's clearly pissed....alrighty. Next up Jason & some random ass broad. They just fucked & now she's leaving...oh wait, is that Selita Ebanks? Wow...anyway, Jason is all bitter abt some new football player & being corny. Switch to Malik carrying in Jenna's drunk ass into his house, where Tasha tells Malik to call an ambulance or a doctor or something because she's too far gone. She's really fucked up, this is all bad....

Commercial break - already I see they are gonna cram as much stuff as they can into this season premiere. Alrighty then...

We return to Melanie & Derwin, AGAIN. This time they at home, and Melanie's making dinner. Apparently its DJ's birthday & they are hosting a party. Derwin keeps wanting to discuss things & Melanie shuts it down. Finally Derwin apologizes for letting her down & letting her have an abortion back in college, while Melanie looks at him like he's crazy. She just makes a face but don't say anything. The scene switches to Malik who is trying to nurse Jenna back to health. Tasha interjects in her sassy Black woman way & then collapses into tears. TeeTee consoles her with wings & a listening ear. But before he can really listen, Malik shows how dumb he is. Isnt he tired of playing the dumb blonde? Switch to Jason at the bar, being a dick to the bartender. Look its Brandy! She gives Jason some attitude to which he responds in his normal dickhead manner. He's too light-skinned to be such an asshole. He gets Brandy fired #boooo. And....now we're back to Melanie & Derwin - they are out & about & run into Trey Wiggs. Apparently he's married now (to a Black girl) and has a kid. Derwin invites them to DJ's party....and now we're back to Malik's dumb ass. He's searching his house looking for Jenna. A wrinkly old White woman comes looking for Jenna with a gun in her purse. Damn really? Before we can process this, we're back to Jason & the bad Brit Brat. She's out kissing some White boy outside of the movies & Jason rolls up & shuts it down. He's all offended that his daughter doesn't like Black guys - ole hypocritical ass! Malik & Tasha are still looking for Jenna & Tasha tells Malik that he needs to cut Jenna lose. After Malik storms off, TeeTee tells Tasha that she needs to do what's best for her, not for Malik (which is so true btw). Malik finds Jenna in the garage, laid out, either drunk or dead. Tasha assumes dead but that probably means she isn't.

And we're halfway through...damn I'm tired already! I need these writers to space out some of this stuff. We can't have all this randomness in one episode.

We return to...you guessed it....Melanie & Derwin. And we see Derwin on the damn toilet #ewww #gross. Melanie asks how Derwin knew about McHottie & he responds that what's done in the dark will come to light. Melanie takes that to heart & decides to confess that she was pregnant by...Trey Wiggs! Damn I was #teamtreywiggs too...anyway, he's pissed off as you can imagine. He's pissed that she told him but she stands by it. They have a hurtful ass argument where he says she killed a baby & is barely a doctor (that's way harsh btw). And here comes Kanye in the background which means we're about to switch to...Malik's garage. Everyone is freaking out & the white woman comes in, stabs her in the chest a la Pulp Fiction & Jenna comes back. Apparently the White woman is a drug dealer - who knew? Jason the Jerk rolls up in his Prius & finds Brandy at the bus stop. He says some more asshole stuff & then gives a half-assed apology. He goes from offering to take her to Chili's (wack!) to waking up somewhere in Mexico. He realizes that he & Brandy got married - whoops!

Time for a commercial. Aint this episode random as hell?

We return to Brandy explaining to Jason how they end up in Mexico & married. Random! Oh well. We switch over to Melanie who wakes up in bed alone, Derwin's side wasn't even slept in. And then we leave - weird! Now we're at Malik's. Apparently the drug dealer slept on the couch cause she waiting on her money. TeeTee again tells Tasha to leave Malik & look for herself but she refuses. And then gives the drug dealer a Black card to pay for Jenna's drug tab. Who knew high-end drug dealers took AmEx? I learned something new.

Commercial again - anybody going to see Red Tails?

We return from the commercial to Jason trying to call San Diego. Brandy is giving her best Black girl with attitude impression. They into in an argument about race & Brandy tells me that he is ashamed to be Black & he wants to be White. After denying it, he gives some random ass anecdote about how Black girls didn't like him when he was a kid. Cry me a damn river. So Jason loves White women cause they were down with him before he was a big football star. Oh well. Back to Melanie & Derwin - she's decorating for DJ's birthday party. He wants to talk & she shuts him down because the guests are coming soon. They start icing cupcakes & now Melanie wants to talk about how she did what she did cause she wanted to be with Derwin & he couldn't handle seeing her with another man's baby. She shares that Trey doesn't know & that she stole money from Tasha to pay for it (remember in Season 2 when she got that knockoff?), Back to Malik & Tasha - Malik agrees to take Jenna back to rehab. And Tasha tells him not to make her regret taking him back as a client. Malik & Jason arrive at DJ's bday party. BTW, Tommy that crumping clown is the entertainment - remember him? We get our first shot of Janay at the party. Derwin tells Melanie that he lets go of the abortion issue because of what Melanie has to go through dealing with Janay & DJ. Derwin & Melanie agree to make an honesty pact (shouldn't they have done that BEFORE they got married? I digress...). Derwin goes out to get the gifts, and Trey Wiggs rolls up to the party. And Derwin turns & sucker punches him! Knocks him out cold. Lays him out! And then he goes back into the party like nothing happened.

And that's the end.

Damn there was a lot of stuff in this episode! I don't know how I feel about this season so far...whatever happens, it will definitely be full of drama.