Protecting Myself Doesn't Mean I'm A Hoe, It Means I'm Smart

I've seen & heard some stupid dumb stuff in my day, but the absolutely stupidest thing I've ever heard (other than any song made by Waka Flocka Flame) is the assertion by some men that a woman who buys her own condoms, and carries them in her purse, is a hoe. Really men?

I recognize that some of yall have a warped idea of female sexuality, of sexuality in general, and that you're probably operating off some dysfunctional "Madonna-whore" complex when it comes to women. You probably think that a woman actually enjoying sex, wanting to have sex, etc is enough for a woman to be categorized as a hoe, harlot, loose, whatever. I don't understand this thought process at all, but I recognize that its out there, and prevalent, especially among Black men.

But it's 2011. Many of us don't know a world without HIV and AIDS. Since our first days in sex ed, we've been taught how to use condoms and shown those scary videos of the symptoms of STI's. *shudders* We've been told over and over again how you must have protected sex every.single.time. We know that it's easier for a woman to contact HIV/AIDS than it is for a man, in heterosexual contact. We've heard the absolutely appalling statistics on the rates of infection for women and girls, especially Black women.

So why exactly does it make a woman a hoe to have her own condoms?

Is it the preparation factor? Going out and buying condoms implies that this woman is planning to have sex, right? And having one or two in her purse definitely means she's planning on it right? Are women not supposed to plan for sex? Is it something that women should be cajoled or persuaded into?

I would think that a woman being prepared would be a plus. Let's say something pops off but the man isn't prepared; without her stash of condoms, they'd either be making a run to the store or going home frustrated to have some alone time, or being irresponsible by having sex with no condoms. I'd much rather be able to hump than go home frustrated, but that's just me.

Another reason for female preparation - some women are allergic to latex, or simply prefer a certain brand of condom or style.

I'd really love to hear the rationale behind categorizing a woman who has her own condoms as a hoe. Can someone please explain this to me? Ladies, what are your thoughts on this?

Oh & btw, I keep a stash in my house. So if that makes me a hoe...#kanyeshrug