Alright, this is gonna be kinda long, cause I got a lot to say about the sad state of my love life.
First, lets review everything that I have going on:
*JH - My West Coast boo. Nice connection, fun times, but I'm still on the fence, mostly cause I don't know how far he would go for me (which is kinda horrible - I don't wanna put myself out there and get rejected - more about that later).
*FS - My Texas boo. I love he. Out of all of them, he's the one that I want the most, and the one that I click with the most. Its almost like we're made for each other. Problem is, he's not exactly available....And even though this is horrible for me to say, I'mma be honest and say that I hope it doesn't work out with his chick, cause I think me and him together are a much better idea.
*P - My West Palm Beach boo. We was cool for a minute, but something went wrong during our night of drunkenness. Its like I saw something in him that just rubbed me the wrong way, and I've been hesitant. And I've been busy. But I do think we should hang out, maybe this weekend. He's not exactly what I was looking for, which is also preventing me from really taking him seriously.
QL- My Charlotte boo. Basically he's holding up the show, because he doesn't do LDRs (or he just doesn't want to do an LDR with me, who knows). We vibe, we had fun when I visited in February. I think he may still be stuck on his ex chick. And I'm not sure that I want to put in the work that would be required to convince him that a relationship with me is a great thing.
EN - My China/Charlotte sorta boo. I'm on the fence about this one. I think the magic is gone. Maybe it was just never meant to be.
CM - My Orlando new guy (but not boo.) We just met, and he's been very clear that he's not trying to do the love thing. But we've had some fun hanging out and he even shared some pretty intimate stuff with me...So I don't know where that's gonna go.
So as you can see, there are no real local boos on the list. That's cause Orlando is not a breeding ground for attractive, acceptable, available Black men. Its the kind of place that you move to once you get married, not the place that you live when you want to meet someone and get married. So it looks like I'm gonna have to be an international traveler and go out and meet someone, cause it probably won't happen here.
Now on to the new stuff...Today I had lunch with a friend, ED. He and I have known each other since my senior year, and became friends cause we were both going to grad school in GA (he went to UGA). Over the years our friendship hasn't been the closest, cause grad school keeps you so busy, and then I moved down here. But as we were talking, I was thinking about what could have been if we had kept in touch, if I had really tried to make a play for him. On paper, he is definitely the kind of guy I go for: educated, good job, cute, funny, all that good stuff. But it just never happened, why I don't know. Maybe it just wasn't meant to be? Anyway, he was talking about how if things go to plan, he's going to wife some chick that he's talking to. And then the voices in my head kicked in...and they wondered if anyone had ever talked about wanting to wife me (and triflin ass HW does not count in this convo). Maybe I'm just not the marrying "kind"....though what am I lacking that makes me that way?
FS says patience is a virtue, and everything has its season...which is very true. But how long will I have to be in my lonely - no real companionship season before it ends? It seems like winter has been going on for the longest, and spring still feels a long way off.