Men, Stop Mistaking Kindness For Flirting

Back when I was in grad school at Tech,  I met a new transfer student while I was on campus. He seemed like a nice guy, but he really wasn't plugged into the social scene on campus, even though he was Greek. I figured he needed a friend & someone to help him meet folks, so I invited him to have lunch with me one day. To which he replied "Well I'm kinda talking to someone right now".


To which I replied "It wasn't a date, I was being friendly. Way to presume dude".

He apologized profusely, but the whole thing just rubbed me the wrong way & struck me as odd. I've never had that happen to me before.

I had forgotten all about that encounter until it happened to me again recently. Well sort-of happened. Once again, I was being nice & friendly, just helping someone out, in my mind. But I got the brushoff right before a scheduled outing & when I thought about it, it occurred to me that the person who did the brushing might have been concerned that I was expecting a date instead of a platonic "you need some friends" type situation.

Yeah....fellas, yall need to stop doing that.

Every woman who is nice to you is not trying to date you, be your boo/jumpoff/FwB/girlfriend/baby mama/future wife. Sometimes women are just being nice. And friendly. You do realize that a woman can be friendly  without wanting to date you, right?

It's insulting to have a man immediately jump to "I have a girlfriend" or "I'm not trying to date anyone" when all you're trying to do is be nice.

Don't assume that because a woman is nice to you, she's trying to hit on you. Sometimes people are just nice & making an incorrect assumption is uncomfy for both parties.

It's ok to be just friends with a woman. Not every woman is trying to be anything more than friends...or even acquaintances for that matter.

In this most recent situation, I thought I was being helpful. Maybe it was the way I made a suggestion, or perhaps I was too eager to be nice, IDK...but my intentions were innocent & platonic. Too bad they weren't taken that way.

Has this happened to anyone else?