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Hi friends!

Welcome to my little corner of Al Gore’s Internet. I’m Jareesa - I’m a scientist, a freelance writer, a knitter, wife to LM, mom to #BabyPi, and more. I love Queen Bey, squishy yarn, watching GBBO, and attempting to bake. Sometimes I rant, sometimes I rave, but I always tell the truth.

Just Cause Random Dudes Approach You, That Doesn't Always Mean There's Something Wrong With You

In my years of dating, I've had my fair share of  randoms who try to holla. You know what I'm talking about - those guys who clearly have ZERO CHANCE of getting a reply, much less your number or a date. Everything from them is wrong - the approach, the dress, the language, etc. Its just wrong wrong wrong. Generally, when a woman (or a man for that matter, but I'm not a man so IDK how true this is) keeps attracting the same type of men, especially randoms that you would never even want to sit next to on the bus, ppl give the same type of advice. It's always "Well what are you doing to attract all these randoms? It must be something about you that keeps attracting them. Figure out what you're doing wrong & fix it & then you'll be set."


Listen, you can't control what man approaches you. I really wish it was that simple, but it's not. In fact, the most undesirables are the ones who approach EVERY WOMAN they see! Literally. It's a numbers game for them - the more women they approach, the more likely they are to get a "yes" from at least one woman. They don't care who the woman is, they are gonna approach & try to holla. That's not a reflection on the woman. It's not like they skip trying to holla at certain women, they holla at EVERYONE.

I'm sure someone is going to say something like "well if  you're dressed a certain way you'll attract certain dudes". And to that I say STFU & you don't know what you're talking about. Rachets & randoms don't give a fuck what you're wearing, I've had undesirables try to holla when I was in business suits, turtlenecks, hell I could have been wearing a nun's habit & they still would have tried to holla & would have been inappropriate.

If someone knows a way to keep undesirables from approaching, please let me know in the comments.

Ladies, if you're having trouble with the randoms approaching you, don't let it get you down. It happens. Just let it roll off your back & keep it moving. But don't believe that bullshit advice that something is wrong with you just because the wrong men approach you. It's not always about you.

BTW, do men every deal with this? Just curious. I figured this was a woman-specific problem.


I Love You Enough To Not Date You

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