I'm Not A Blogger...

I'm a woman who blogs...subtle distinction, I know.  Here me out on this... When I first started blogging, way back in 2005, I started for one reason - to vent about all the crap that they don't tell you about graduate school.  Confessions of a Grad School Slave was just a place for me to jot down my random thoughts about being a PhD student in a demanding program at a demanding school in a new city while making friends & dating.  Over time it morphed into a place where I discussed additional topics, but mostly it was about me & what was going on in my life.  Wasn't really trying to get readers or anything...just writing how I felt & sending my words out into cyberspace.  Once I left school & got my job at LM, it felt like a blog about being a grad student wasn't a good fit, hence Searching For Satisfaction was born.  Same thing as the other blog - just a place to talk about me, my life, and what concerned me about life.  And now, here we are.

I didn't start blogging because I'm an aspiring writer, or a journalist, or because I had a specific agenda.  I just had something to say & I wanted to send my thoughts out into the world (the joy of the Internets!).  I don't consider myself a writer at all, and I actually sometimes wish that I could master that craft.  Yet I know there are many things that I have mastered, and if I had put as much time & effort into writing as the things that I have mastered, I would have mastered writing.  Is it something that I aspire to?  No, not really.  Having command & mastery of the written word is a beautiful thing, but its not something I'm willing to devote time & energy to, at least not right now.

I look at writers/bloggers I admire, see the hits their blogs get & I do wish for that for a fleeting moment...but then I remember what it took to get them to that point.  I'm happy with where I am & what I do have - a space in the world to share my thoughts & opinions, and people willing to read it & then share their own thoughts with me.  I may not ever get the shine & publicity that other bloggers get, will probably never win an award, but those things were never my motivation to start blogging in the first place, so not getting them means nothing.

Thank you to the folks who read, who have read, and to everyone who comments...cause if you didn't I'd be afraid that I was talking to myself!