"I'm a Grown-up!"

Remember how you felt when you discovered that you had somehow morphed into a grown-up? Crazy right? When I figured out I was a grown-up, I swear it hit me like a ton of bricks....I got a little woosy, things got a little fuzzy...it was a surreal experience...Me, a grown-up? No fuckin way! It took me a minute, but I had to resign myself to my fate - since I was an adult and all. It was still a trip though.

Today that same feeling hit me. It was the end of the day, I was heading back into my building to grab my stuff and go home, and I was thinking about college and how I had all these plans for what I wanted to be when I grew up...and then I was like "Jubi, yous a grown-up now!" Freakin nuts, how the hell did that happen? I swear it snuck up on me like Michael Myers sneaks up on campers in the woods. Just completely took me by surprise.

I suppose as a grown-up I'm doing alright...I could be doing a helluva lot worse. But I think the worst part of being a grown-up is that you can't idealize and fantasize about how your adult life will be. You still have time to get your shit together, make new plans, figure out what you really want to do and what bullshit you want to avoid...and most of all life is still an ADVENTURE! You have the freedom to pick up and do whatever, cause you aren't tied down by (huge) bills or families or a steady gig that will actually be important enough to put on your resume. You can just live life, explore, all that fun stuff that becomes fond memories which help you get through the monotony of your grown-up life when you wanna start cutting yourself just for some excitement...ok, maybe not cut yourself, but you get my point. Being a grownup is a drag and it only get worse. Then you get married and then you have kids and then you really start going downhill.

Can I turn in my grown-up status? I don't think I want it anymore.