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Hi friends!

Welcome to my little corner of Al Gore’s Internet. I’m Jareesa - I’m a scientist, a freelance writer, a knitter, wife to LM, mom to #BabyPi, and more. I love Queen Bey, squishy yarn, watching GBBO, and attempting to bake. Sometimes I rant, sometimes I rave, but I always tell the truth.

Dating And The Friend Factor

Last week I had three dates with a new guy #yay. The new guy, the musician, is a lot of fun & so far I dig him. Our first date was Tuesday and we met up for dinner & drinks. We had a great time so we decided to get together on Thursday night for bowling & beer. Friday night was drinks & a movie. All great times. The musician is very sweet, a complete gentleman & a lot of fun. So far I like him. During the Friday date, I made a passing remark about my friend DN, and discovered that the musician & DN used to talk a few years ago. My first thought was "interesting...". As luck would have it, DN hit me up the next day to join her to watch a game at the sportsbar & I agreed so I could get her thoughts on the dating situation.

I know a lot of women subscribe to the idea that if a guy even looks in her friends direction, he's off-limits. Yeah....#no. Of course some men are off-limits, like ex-hubbys, ex-fiances, even ex-boyfriends depending on how serious the relationship was. But guys that casually dated a friend are totally in play in my world, especially if there wasn't any sexually contact. I recognize that I might be in the minority in that viewpoint, so I asked DN how she felt about me dating a guy she dated casually a few years ago. She gave me her assurance that it wasn't a problem, and for everyone's sake I hope she was being truthful because I don't do drama.

Living in Minnesota, the circle of Blacks is pretty small, so its inevitable that you'll run into someone who a friend or acquaintance has dealt with in the past. It's about two degrees of separation up here, instead of six. These things happen - and they happen in the larger world. I'm always amazed at how many people I know, know each other, and I even remarked on Twitter how small the world is. Seems like I know every Black college educated person that graduated in the last 5-10 years, especially if they are Greek. So with everyone knowing each other & being connected somehow, its only logical that at some point you're going to date someone who dated a friend right? Unless of course you deem all of them off-limits, which would eliminate a huge part of the available dating pool. I'm not willing to handicap myself like that #imjustsaying.

What are your thoughts about dating someone who dated your friend? Are they all off-limits or does it depend on the relationship? Have you ever had a problem with a friend dating your ex or vice versa? Am I wrong for dating a guy my friend used to date?

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