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Hi friends!

Welcome to my little corner of Al Gore’s Internet. I’m Jareesa - I’m a scientist, a freelance writer, a knitter, wife to LM, mom to #BabyPi, and more. I love Queen Bey, squishy yarn, watching GBBO, and attempting to bake. Sometimes I rant, sometimes I rave, but I always tell the truth.

Am I Shallow?

This past weekend I was told that I only date dark-skinned men and that I shun light-skinned men. Background: My mom was in town for the weekend, so I invited my soror T and my good friend LM to join us for dinner at Kobe (yum!). At dinner somehow the topic of who I go out with came up, and both of my friends and my mom all I agreed that I don't date light-skinned men.

I was floored. I insisted they were wrong. So then they started rattling off all the guys I've dated in Orlando...I pictured each one in my mind and realized that there was not a man lighter than "brown-skinned" in the bunch.

Damn, they are right. At least when it comes to my dating history in Orlando. At least that's how I tried to spin it.

But then my mom brought up guys I dated in Atlanta...and they were all brown-skinned or darker. Even CB was about my complexion, and you can't really consider me light-skinned, I'm more like a caramel/peanut butter brown color. I would consider Moms to be light-skinned though.

Aight, so its official - I have been neglecting men on the lighter end of the brown spectrum.

But then I started really comtemplating the topic. I don't think I'm color-struck, but am I subconciously deeming light-skinned men unacceptable?

I find some light-skinned men attractive, but I can admit that I tend to gravitate towards men who are my complexion and darker, strictly off physical looks. But WHY do I do it? Is it just what I'm wired to like? Is it the years of Pro-Black, "you better not bring home a White devil" lessons my father taught me? Am I subconciously thinking about the complexion of my future children? Or am I just shallow and/or color-struck, thinking that light-skinned = bad?

I can't blame it on a boyfriend who did me wrong, cause thinking back I've never dated a light-skinned man.

Is it possible for someone to just be wired to like a certain thing, without it being shallow? Where do you draw the line? If you say having a skin color preference is acceptable, does that mean having an education level preference or income preference is also acceptable? Or a height requirement or minimum credit score?

I've always considered myself to not be a shallow person, but maybe I am. I hope not though. Shallow is ok when you just want to play the field and have fun, but I'm getting bored with that life. I'd like to be serious with someone, and you can't choose a guy based on how much he makes, what he drives, or how tall he is. Choosing a guy should be about his character, his personality, his attributes and what he brings to my life, and you can't really be shallow with that kind of stuff.

So what do you think, am I shallow? Are you shallow?

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