37. Look It Up

Photo by   rawpixel.com   from   Pexels

Photo by rawpixel.com from Pexels


Happy Friday friends!

To know me is to know that I’m an information junkie. I love knowledge and learning new things. As a kid I loved reading, and the thing I loved to read the most was our set of World Book Encyclopedias. Legit, I was really into it! We don’t have encyclopedias anymore, but we do have Wikipedia - I have happily wasted 2 hours of my life at a time, tumbling down a Wikipedia rabbit hole as I learn about things I’ve always wondered about, or discovered something new.

I was reminded that I’m just “different” from folks on Wednesday, when I saw a tweet from a young flight attendant who didn’t know that TSA was created as a direct response to the events of 9/11. Their justification was that “flight attendant education didn’t teach them that”.

Everyone might not be as curious as I am, but I found it so weird to only know things because you’re taught them in a school setting. I learn new things everyday thanks to my phone and Google Assistant. Seriously, I use it at least 10 times a day - I start my day asking Google what the forecast is, and I’m off to the races after that. Just this week I asked Google what Whoopi Goldberg’s birth name is, who owns the different Premier League teams, and when This Is Us premieres. William and I regularly whip out our phones to look something up to settle a bet, or to reference an actor’s IMDB page.

Seriously yall, there’s too much information out here for folks to walk around ignorant, or just having questions. Just look it up, or send it to me and I’ll look it up, cause I’ve probably wanted to know the answer myself.

Things I Read This Week:

It’s almost time for new fall shows, and Vulture has a roundup of the best new shows to watch this fall

The Wing sounds like a really terrible place for Black women

I love this roundtable discussion on protective hairstyles

Ask A Manager shared a great Q&A with a transgender woman about her experience in the workplace

Several outlets are reporting that LEEP procedures could be the cause of sexual dysfunction in many women

This week’s life tip: How to wash your “hand wash only” clothes

A woman took an AncestryDNA test and wound up reuniting with the “anonymous” cord blood donor that saved her life

If you haven’t read the Caroline Calloway story yet, you must cause it’s WILD

Uber & Lyft claim not to serve underage kids, but it’s not stopping teens from using the services

Best part of Designing Women? Julia Sugerbaker

This week I learned that Medicaid can (and will) take your loved one’s home to pay for nursing home care, and that feels incredibly wrong

Buzzfeed shared the emotional stories of women serving life in prison

Other Stuff:

This week is the “fun week” at my company - they bring in really cool speakers, we have tons of fun events and giveaways, and it all culminates in our big sales meeting. We all gather in the Target Center and spend the afternoon listening to speakers and enjoying performances. It’s my favorite time of year at work and it never disappoints. This year’s highlight was a talk with Elaine Welteroth, who I adore.

So this high school in Famington Hills, MI allows their students to dress up for their student ID pics, and I find this so adorable and charming! I love how the inspo ranges from celebs to memes to pop culture.

I just got over the worst cold in the history of colds, and I’m so happy I won’t be spending my entire weekend in bed, like I did last weekend. Beyond doing the normal adulting things, I’m going to take myself to go see Hustlers - I’m so excited that it’s finally out!

Enjoy your weekend friends!

36. Seven Years Later


Happy Friday! I hope you had a great week!

This Monday is my 7th anniversary with my current company. It’s also been 7 years since I made my career transition from laboratory chemist to data analyst. I’m really amazed that it’s been 7 years because it’s about 5 years longer than I expected to be here. When I first started, I thought I’d made a terrible decision - the culture was completely different than what I was used to, I was working in a completely new space, and frankly, the company wasn’t doing well. Things got really dire around the 2 year mark, between company issues and a terrible boss, and at my lowest point I considered walking away, even without a job, but my husband convinced me to stay. Then there was a time where I expected to be laid off along with 10% of our headquarters staff, but somehow I stayed on. Over time, things have gotten better, both for me and for my company.

Along the way, my life and priorities changed. In my 20s, all I cared about was my salary & vacation time, but as a married woman having babies, I care about maternity leave, flexible work arrangements, etc. The two biggest things that have kept me at my company are my benefits (including the maternity leave) and the way the entire corporate culture has evolved for the better in the last 5 years. I get to work with really smart, talented people each day, and I report to a leader who provides guidance but gives me autonomy, and I get to enact real change, which is very gratifying. I legit like what I work on, and I get to make meaningful changes that impact customers directly, which is really cool.

I’m not sure if I’ll make it to the 10 year mark at this company, just given our family priorities, but it’s been a great 7 years that have taught me so much. It hasn’t always been great, but overall it’s been a good 7 years. And frankly, I’m happy I left the lab when I did and made a career change.

Things I Read This Week:

The CEO of a Major Headhunting Firm Says the Best Resume He's Ever Seen Had These 6 Things (MSN)

Buyer Beware When Shopping on Amazon (Jezebel)

The Unspoken Hurdle of Getting Funding for Plus-Size Fashion Brands (Glamour)

The True Story Behind Mindhunter’s Atlanta Child Murders (Vulture)

The never-ending, very confusing battle for Etsy’s soul (Vox)

White-on-White Violence: How a Bedbug Diss Teaches Us Everything We Need to Know About White Male Fragility (The Root)

Chrissy Teigen wants her husband to take more pictures of her—and we can so relate (Motherly)

Kissing Ass At Miki Agrawal's Butt-Con (Jezebel)

Hollywood Almost Broke Renée Zellweger. Now She’s Back. (Vulture)

I Tried 7 Top-Rated Mascaras and Found the Very Best One (Man Repeller)

Don’t talk to me if you don’t want to talk about “Are You the One?’’ (Just Good Shit)

Do I Pay Off My Student Loans Or Save For Retirement? | Ask CMO And Ask The Readers (Chief Mom Officer)

Congress promised student borrowers a break — Then-Ed Dept. rejected 99 percent of them (MPR News)

Bachelor star 'begging' wife for sex 4 weeks after birth highlights sadly common problem (Motherly)

"Crazy Rich Asians" Writer Leaves Franchise Over Pay Disparity (BUST)

One year ago, Botham Jean was killed in his home. The ex-officer who shot him is about to go on trial. (Vox)

Other Stuff:

Anyone else a Steven Universe fan? This Monday was the premiere of Steven Universe The Movie, and in preparation, Carton Network did a marathon of the entire series…so I watched a lot of Steven Universe this holiday weekend! It’s such a great show - really touching and heartwarming but also really funny and entertaining! The movie was really great, a continuation of the story but with new songs and a new character as well. 10/10 would recommend.

I think I mentioned that this year my husband and I are following English Premier League. We’re now 4 weeks into the new season, and who’s team is on top? Mine! Liverpool is currently in the lead with 12pts and Man City (William’s team) is right behind them.

I’m really excited to see Serena Williams back in the US Open finals! I’m hoping she can get her 24th major this time.

Have a great weekend!

35. Nostalgia


I love pop culture - movies, music, TV, books, etc. I dig a lot of current stuff but over the past few months I’ve found myself gravitating towards music, movies and TV from the 80’s and 90’s - all the stuff I grew up on. I don’t know why I started doing this, I just got this urge to revisit all this old stuff I grew up on. Whatever the reason was, it makes me happy to revisit the things I loved in my childhood.

So that means in the car I’m listening to lots of New Jack Swing & 90’s R&B, introducing my daughter to Michael Jackson’s greatest hits, and revisiting all the music I loved in high school.

At home I’m watching of ton of old stuff like Designing Women (which is now on Hulu!) and Golden Girls reruns, cause I can’t get enough of 80s sitcoms with 4 ladies, LOL.

Things I Read This Week:

Why cashier’s checks are part of so many online scams (Vox)

Companies Are Realizing That Being Publicly Conservative Is Really Unpopular (Vice)

Getting Dressed Sucks When You’re Disabled. Where’s the Adaptive Clothing Boom? (MEL Magazine)

When Transgender Travelers Walk Into Scanners, Invasive Searches Sometimes Wait on the Other Side (ProPublica)

“It’s a F--king Scam”: Beware the Hollywood Con Queen (Vanity Fair)

The Fashion Industry Has a Plus-Size Problem. These Women Want to Fix It (Glamour)

Former Uber Employee Says 'Safe Rides Fee' Was the Rip-Off You Always Suspected (Gizmodo)

What I Learned by Printing Thousands of Pages of My Facebook Data (Slate Magazine)

Goodbye Popeye's Crispy Chicken Sandwich, We Hardly Knew Ye (Refinery29)

The Price of Being Fat (Teen Vogue)

Same-sex marriage in the US has been legal for years now, but queer couples still face wedding hurdles. Meet the planners who want to change that. (Buzzfeed News)

Why Big Movie Chains Won’t Show Martin Scorsese’s Netflix Epic (The Atlantic)

We may never know how many people have accidentally signed up to pay Rihanna $50 a month (Vox)

NFL Players Are Evolving. Fans Aren’t Keeping Up. (Vox)

Other Stuff:

Last weekend we made it to the Minnesota State Fair! The “Great Minnesota Get Together” is an institution - everyone goes to the fair. We’ve gone the last six years and I was really happy to keep the streak alive. Usually it’s hot and humid at the fair, but this year the weather was perfect - 75 and sunny with no humidity and a nice breeze. We got a chance to see a bunch of animals, visit a bunch of booths and eat a ton of food. Pregnancy means I couldn’t eat a few of my faves but I still got my fill of yummy treats on a stick.

How are you spending your Labor Day weekend? We’re heading to MI to visit my family and I can’t wait! We haven’t been home in almost a year and I’m so excited to see everyone and catch up.

Enjoy your holiday weekend!

Fellas, Giving A Woman Your Last Name Isn’t the Prize You Think It Is

About a month ago, Chris Brown released the latest single from his new album, a collab with Drake. I like them both as artists (save your breath - not trying to hear why I shouldn’t listen to Chris Brown, thanks) so I gave it a listen when it showed up in Spotify. It’s a decent bop, the kind of song I’d expect from either of them. Then the video dropped and I found it entertaining, especially the little dance battle thing.


The other day this song came on in the car, and I finally caught something Chris Brown was saying in the hook…

I don't wanna play no games, play no games
Fuck around, give you my last name (oh)
Know you tired of the same damn thing
That's okay 'cause, baby, you

Yeah…I had a screw face at the bolded line.

Hey guys, I’m sorry to break this to you, but having your last name is not the prize you think it is.

It might have been a prize back in the day, but now? It’s 2019 and frankly, marriage is kinda antiquated and I say that as a married woman. Women don’t need marriage the way they did 20, 50, 100, 500 years ago.

  • The stigmas of single motherhood and longterm single life are both gone;

  • women outnumber men in college & grad school;

  • The pay gap is narrowing;

  • You can hire someone to do pretty much everything a husband does, including mow your lawn, fix things, and pipe you down;

  • Sex toys have gotten really amazing

I mean, any way you look at it, there are plenty of upsides to not getting married. But let’s say you actually believe in that shit and find someone who’s quirks you can tolerate? Be all means get married, but that doesn’t mean you need to give up your last name for his. It’s 2019, we off that shit. American women are finally catching up to the rest of the world and realizing how pointless and stupid it is to go through the stress of changing their name after marriage when they have perfectly good last names. Changing your name does not make you any more a family or committed to your marriage compared to someone who did change their name. It’s just an antiquated practice that (hopefully) Millennials is killing off along with buying blood diamonds.

I hope that men aren’t out here trying to entice women by telling them one day they could win the prize of their last name. I’d laugh in his face if a man said that to me.

You ain’t gon get her with the promise of your last name… Maybe come with something better.

34. Changes

Photo by  Juliana Amorim  on  Unsplash

Happy Friday friends! I hope you all had a great week!

It’s been a good six weeks since I’ve had the energy or desire to write here, but I’m very happy to be back! I took some time off in July and August to take care of myself and my family. I basically just went to work and went home - I wasn’t writing, wasn’t knitting, wasn’t hanging out, nothing. Basically, I was just trying to make it day by day.

Don’t worry, I’m not sick - I’m pregnant! Apparently going off the grid in the first trimester is just what I do, LOL. I did the same thing when I was pregnant with Josephine.

William and I have been trying for baby #2 for a long time, but it actually caught me by surprise when it actually happened. I learned I was pregnant the same week as my birthday, so birthday drinks for me :-( The first few weeks were easy but then beginning in week 8 I started getting really sick. So far this pregnancy has been harder on me than when I was pregnant with Josephine, but I’m surviving. I did have to go on medication for my morning sickness, and my heartburn has kicked in super early which is super fun #sarcasm. I’ve done a lot of sleeping on the couch and eating the most random things (when I can stomach eating anything). Thank goodness for William - he’s been so amazing taking care of me and Josephine as I’ve been sick so far in this pregnancy.

So far we don’t know what we’re having, but Josephine ordered a baby brother, LOL. Also we’re due 2/29 so we may have a Leap Year baby, which is pretty cool.

My energy is coming back so I’m excited to make my way back to writing, and knitting too.

Things I Read Recently:

I Found the Outer Limits of My Pro-choice Beliefs (The Atlantic)

Well this is bizarre - my new employee ran a background check on me and asked me about what he found (Ask A Manager)

A Tissue Sample From 1966 Held Traces of Early HIV (The Atlantic)

Remember That Trump Speech at the Pennsylvania Plant? Workers Had to Attend, Take Paid Time Off or Lose a Day of Pay (The Root)

Why the Coors Light "bra ad" is groundbreaking (The AV Club)

The New York Times 1619 Project is reshaping the conversation on slavery. Conservatives hate it. (Vox)

Hard seltzer is this summer's biggest scam (SF Chronicle)

Lack of diversity in genetic databases hampers research (MPR News)

Brazil's President Is Full of Shit (Gizmodo)

How white women’s “investment” in slavery has shaped America today (Vox)

The Angle: What Happens When Hundreds of Parents Vanish (Slate)

The Car Seat Industry Helped Delay a Child Safety Regulation — Again (ProPublica)

Why Some Doctors Purposely Misdiagnose Patients (The Atlantic)

Leashes Are a Great Solution to Dangerous Runaway Kids. So Why Do Some Parents Judge Them So Harshly? (Slate)

By far the most heartbreaking story I’ve read in a long time - The New American Homeless (The New Republic)

Other Stuff:

Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you’ve probably seen the Internet lose their minds over this new chicken sandwich at Popeye’s. I’m here to tell you, it is 100% worth the hype. Both the classic and spicy versions are good, but I prefer the spicy. I live down the street from a Popeyes and I may have had three of these sandwiches in the last two weeks, #dontjudgeme. If you haven’t tried them yet, do yourself a favor and get one, stat!

Did you see the season finale of Pose? It was sooooooooo good! I may have shed a few tears at a couple of scenes. Really this entire season has been so good, with the exception of them killing off Candy - I didn’t Stan for her but we barely got to know her! Overall I adore this show and i’m so excited that we’re getting a third season. Also Billy Porter is a national treasure and deserves all of the things.

And speaking of TV, I highly recommend you watch the new season of Dear White People. The reviews were mixed but I really enjoyed it. Same with The Boys on Amazon Prime which I binged in two days. And i’m also 5 seasons into Nurse Jackie - I wish I had watched it when the show was airing, it was so good!

It’s the last weekend before Labor Day weekend - where did the summer go?

Have a great weekend!