20. Tired Of Being Tired

 
dont_tread_on_me_vagina
 

Friends, it has not been a good week, if you are a woman.

I can’t even say that I’m surprised. The legislation that’s been passed in Georgia, Alabama, Missouri, Ohio (and being considered other places) is draconian, cruel and should be illegal. It is an example that freedom is not free, and that we’re all under assault. Yet part of me is also feeling a bit of smugness, because we’re in this position because so many white women voted against their own self-interests, especially in state-level races. Republicans across the country are emboldened to make The Handmaid’s Tale a reality, and it’s all because white people decided they were being left behind in the world. How sad and short-sighted of them.

I won’t rehash the countless articles, blog posts, and social media posts that outline just why these laws are so terrible. I will however, urge you to read this incredible Twitter thread from Design Mom, and to encourage you to do whatever you can to fight back, be it with your money, your time or your influence.

I’m tired yall. I’ve been tired for a long time. Many of us sounded the alarm years ago, but we were drowned out by the choruses of “but her emails” and “lock her up!” And so, here we are, and very soon America will be Gilead and we’ll all be Under His Eye. I hope yall are ready.

Things I Read This Week:

“Am I bad person?” Why one mom didn’t take her kid to the ER — even after poison control said to. (Vox)

Even Breadwinning Wives Don’t Get Equality at Home (The Atlantic)

I’m the Longest-Serving Republican in the Iowa Legislature, and I’m Switching Parties (The Atlantic)

Your Big Bank Sucks. It’s Time to Bail Yourself Out. (MEL Magazine)

The NYTimes Comments Section Breaks Out Into White Nonsense Over the Aperol Spritz (Pajiba)

The Supreme Court’s Worst Decision of My Tenure (The Atlantic)

A Teen Designed A Graduation Cap That Directs People To A List Of Students Killed In School Shootings (Buzzfeed)

Elizabeth Warren Deserves Your Undivided Attention (GQ)

our traditionally male company has an annual golf trip — but our new female employees don’t play (Ask A Manager)

Nearly a third of millennial moms are having postpartum sex before they feel ready (and that's not okay) (Motherly)

Other Stuff:

I made these carrot cake cupcakes this week and they are so unbelievably good. I’m not normally a carrot cake fan but I love these.

I absolutely love everything in this doula story - I had a doula for Josephine’s birth, and I can’t imagine getting through my 36 hour labor and c-section delivery without her. Every mama should have access to a doula.

This week I worked with two coaching clients! It was really awesome to connect with two separate people looking to make a career change, and put my expertise to practice. If you’re looking for some help in your career, I’m available for Career Mentoring as well as Ace the Interview Prep Sessions.

End your week on a high note with this video of Method Man

Let’s all get some self-care this weekend - take care of yourself and your people!

19. Things I Ponder - What Makes Certain Entertainment "Hold Up"?

 
Photo by  Guilherme Almeida  from  Pexels
 

We made it to another weekend!

I love pop culture, especially stuff that I grew up, especially movies and TV shows. Lately I’ve been thinking about one specific question: what makes a movie or TV show “hold up”? For the unfamiliar, I think of “holding up” as being able to be enjoyed years later and still be in touch with current society. There are shows that I was still watch and love that definitely fit the criteria of holding up, and others that I watch solely for the nostalgia because they definitely do not hold up, for various reasons.

Take, for example, Golden Girls - a show that I think completely holds up 30 years later. It’s still so funny and the jokes still work in 2019. And their serious episodes all fall on the right side of history, whether it’s tackling gay & lesbian issues, interracial marriage, the AIDS epidemic, undocumented immigrants, etc. Similarly, I think Living Single holds up in the same way - the storylines were (mostly) realistic, the jokes are still funny and it’s still very relatable in 2019. Contrast that with a show like Sex and the City, which feels really dated even though it was a more recent show. I think it doesn’t hold up because the setup was so unbelievable, from Carrie’s designer habit to portraying a NYC with virtually no people of color. It’s also out of step with current cultural norms - for example, you can hear the term “tranny” on the show, which is a no-no. Another is Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, a movie which I loved as a kid, but as an adult I realize is so incredibly racist in its portrayal of India. There’s no way that movie would ever get greenlit in 2019.

I’m formulating a theory in my head around what makes a TV show or movie “hold up” but I’m curious what other people think - what would you highlight as a TV show or movie that still holds up in 2019?

Things I Read This Week:

Not all of West Side Story has aged gracefully, but its spectacular dancing sure has (A.V. Club)

Black Voters Get That Bernie Marched With MLK. They Want To Know What He’ll Do For Them Now. (Buzzfeed)

LOFT’s New Mommy-And-Me Collection is ADORABLE (The Mom Edit)

Lyft Says It’s ‘Not in the Transportation Business,’ So Disability Law Doesn't Apply (Gizmodo)

Seattle Times Journalist Suspended After Harassing Writer With Gross Twitter DMs (Jezebel)

The Midwest Isn't Just White People (Jezebel)

The True Road Warriors: How Men With Disabilities Travel the World (MEL Magazine)

Switching Political Parties (Design Mom)

Alexa has been eavesdropping on you this whole time (CT Post)

Tweak the Vote | Radiolab | WNYC Studios (Radiolab)

The Coming Generation War (The Atlantic)

Representation Matters: 35 Black Kids TV Shows You Can Watch Right Now (Mater Mea)

The politics of home (Curbed)

Other Stuff:

I took advantage of the Sephora VIB sale to restock on some of my favorite items: L’Occitane hand cream, a Benefit brow pencil, and Clarisonic replacement brush heads. I also picked up the Fenty Beauty Instant Warmth Bronzer in Caramel Cutie - I hope it looks good!

I haven’t been doing much reading lately - my free time is taken up by writing and knitting - but I picked up The 7 1/2 Deaths of Evelyn Hardcastle because I couldn’t resist after reading a quick synopsis.

This weekend is Mother’s Day weekend! I won’t get to spend it with my mom but I did make sure to get her gift and cards in the mail so hopefully she gets both before Sunday. I’ll be spending the day with my little one. For all the moms out there, I hope you enjoy it in whatever way is good for you.

Enjoy your weekend!

16. April Showers

 
spring-flowers-birds.jpg
 

Happy Friday friends!

It is officially spring here in Minnesota - the snow is (almost) gone, and now we’re getting rain which is helping everything start to green up. I hear the birds chirping in the morning when I wake up, and sunset doesn’t happen until 8pm. My big coat and snow boots are packed away - now I just need to switch over my closet.

Spring and summer are the best seasons in the Twin Cities and I’m already making plans to get out more as the weather warms up. We’re planning to get a family membership to the MN Zoo, and I love to have brunch/happy hour on a patio or rooftop. William is looking forward to getting out on the golf course and he’s planning his tournament schedule. And of course Phi wants to spend as much time outside as she can.

Things I read this week:

The Underrated Link Between Success and Humility (Man Repeller)

Yes, She’s Checking Out Other People Too — She’s Just Way Better at It (Mel Magazine)

My ancestors were owned by Georgetown University, I soon graduate from there (ABC)

As a Black Mother, My Parenting Is Always Political (The Nation)

Mom Makes 6-Year-Old Party Guests Give Their ‘Build-A-Bear’ Creations To The Birthday Girl (Scary Mommy)

10 Native women you should have learned about in history class (Hello Giggles)

So, you should really be using a rinse aid in your dishwasher (Just Good Shit)

He Helped Wrongfully Convict a Vegas Man. Two Decades Later, His Daughter Worked on a Law to Make Amends. (ProPublica)

What Changes When the Presidential Field Is Full of Mothers, Not Just Fathers (The Cut)

Is your pregnancy app sharing your data? (Motherly)

Code Names and Secret Lives: How a Radical Underground Network Helped Women Get Abortions Before They Were Legal (Vanity Fair)

Things I loved this week:

I highly recommend you give the new Anderson Paak album a spin! I listened during my workday and before I knew it, I’d made it to the end of the album with no skips! I love music that helps me get in the zone when I’m trying to concentrate, and this album is that for me.

Also the GOAT, our Queen, Beyonce dropped the Homecoming documentary on Wednesday - how many times have you watched? I’ve watched it twice so far, and it’s just so damn good.

Enjoy your weekend friends!

15. A New Look

 
Photo courtesy of  Pixistock

Photo courtesy of Pixistock

 

Happy Friday friends!

You may have noticed that JTM Writes has a new look! I took an honest look at my site and it really didn’t resonate with me, so I decided to make some changes. When I launched JTM Writes, I made the switch from Wordpress to Squarespace, and I’ve found that making theme/layout changes are so much easier in Squarespace. There’s a learning curve for Squarespace for sure, but once you get the hang of it, it’s easy to figure out how to design things to your liking.

The biggest change I’ve made is the Squarespace theme - I switched to the Five layout. I also turned on the right sidebar to share some additional information. I also took some time in Canva (my favorite program currently) to make a header for the website as well. I think the changes fit my overall aesthetic and outlook for the blog, but let me know what you think in the comments!

Please be sure to add JTM Writes to your RSS readers (like Feedly or Bloglovin) and you can also subscribe to the JTM Writes email list to get updates as well.

I also updated my professional website as well as my offerings for JTM Consulting. I’m offering a 60min Ace the Interview Prep Session for any job seekers who are looking to practice their interview skills!

Things I read this week:

The Wild Story Behind Aretha Franklin’s Long-Delayed Documentary (Vulture)

This Is Kirstjen Nielsen's Legacy (Jezebel)

Oh, Yay, Flexible Jobs Actually Make Your Work-Life Balance Worse (MEL Magazine)

Invisible Middlemen Are Slowing Down American Health Care (The Atlantic)

These bamboo nursing pads are great for taking off your makeup (Just Good Shit)

6 Things You Didn’t Know About Lil Nas X’s “Old Town Road” (High Snobiety)

Will Apple Just Kill iTunes Already? (Lifehacker)

Privileged | By Kyle Korver (The Player’s Tribune)

Mandatory paternity leave might be Wall Street’s best bet for gender equality (Quartz)

‘The Unthinkable Has Happened’ (Vulture)

The Urgent Quest for Slower, Better News (The New Yorker)

Here Is The First-Ever Image Of A Black Hole (Buzzfeed News)

Budweiser's Emotional Ad Shows How Dwyane Wade Has Touched People's Lives (Buzzfeed News)

Are You A Generous Tipper? (Design*Mom)

Listen up bitches, it’s time to learn incorrect things about someone you’ve never heard of (The Outline)

Marie Kondo-ing My Closet Made Me Confront My Own Internalized Fatphobia (BUST)

Beyoncé Meets Netflix: Everything We Know About the Upcoming Beychella Project (Vanity Fair)

How abortion became a partisan issue in America (Vox)

Why More Couples Are Getting Married by a Friend (The Atlantic)

Watching My Parents Bicker Taught Me How to Love (The Cut)


Things I’m loving this week:

Last week I got my bonus at work and I did something responsible with it - I paid off Sallie Mae! This loan was from my senior year of undergrad and I’m so glad to have at least one burden taken care of. Also, nothing is morning humbling than seeing your original principal balance, and then doing the math on how much you’ve actually paid over the years, and comparing the numbers. But I won’t dwell on that, I’ll just celebrate this milestone and work towards paying off my last two student loans.

 
Bye Felicia!

Bye Felicia!

 

I also went a little crazy after my March No Shopping challenge, including getting everything on my Sephora wishlist. I walked out of the store with several new Tatcha products, Nars foundation and concealer, and a few other goodies. I won’t be keeping it all (some products didn’t work for me) but it was fun to go see all the new products in stores.


Enjoy your weekend!


13. Like A Boss

C63-51-Black-Gold-Boss-Lady-Styled-Stock-Collection-Pixistock.jpg

Happy Friday friends!

2019 is turning out to be my personal “year of doing the scary shit”. For years, I’ve felt a desire to do my own thing, but I love the security of a corporate paycheck and benefits. I’ve also had major imposter syndrome and a fear that no one would ever want to pay for my knowledge. Well the Universe is always on time, and last year it started sending me messages that I need to pursue my passions.

I started 2019 by launching my Etsy shop, JTM Knits. I’d been itching to do it but I got the push when I knit myself a beanie and 10+ people asked to buy one. That led me to taking the 1K1Day course with Nicole Walters, which was a transformative experience for me. I really got a lot from the program, and I connected with some amazing entrepreneurs and learned a lot. Going through the course confirmed that I do indeed have something to offer and that I need to make it happen. So now I’m doing the scary thing and launching my first product - the Ace the Interview Prep Session. In this 60 minute session, I’ll work with clients to identify key experiences they’ve had in their professional career, and practice sharing those experiences in a way that helps interviewers evaluate if they have the right skills for the job. Basically, it’s an interview practice session with immediate feedback from me, based on my almost 15 years of working in several Fortune 500 companies.

To launch this product I’m offering 50% the session fee for the first five people who book, using the code INTRO50. To sign up, and to learn more about my other offerings, check out my professional website.

Things I read this week:

The ‘Men’s Liberation’ Movement Time Forgot (Vice)

Is It Ever Too Late to Pursue a Dream? (Longreads)

How Google Wiped a Neighborhood off the Map (OneZero)

Columbine Survivors Talk About the Wounds That Won't Heal (Westword)

‘Women Can Be Required To Wear Something That’s Painful.’ (Longreads)

How to quit Facebook without quitting Facebook (Vox)

One year after Uber’s fatal self-driving crash, pedestrians aren’t any safer (Curbed)

Cottage Cheese Is the New Greek Yogurt (The Atlantic)

Big Pharma’s Go-To Defense of Soaring Drug Prices Doesn’t Add Up (The Atlantic)

Is the Cradle Act Better Than Nothing? (The Cut)

Cancel Your Clothing Subscription Box. Love, Me (Wardrobe Oxygen)

Always Bring Stomach Medicine When You Travel  (Lifehacker)

The Underground Railroad of North Korea (GQ)

Why placeholder engagement rings are on the rise (Vox)

NFL’s minority head coaches weigh in on state of diversity in their ranks  (The Undefeated)

It’s Becoming More Evident: The Stress of Racism Is Killing Our Babies ... and Us (The Root)

“The Big Error Was That She Was Caught”: The Untold Story Behind the Mysterious Disappearance of Fan Bingbing, the World’s Biggest Movie Star (Vanity Fair)

Ta-Nehisi Coates Is an Optimist Now (Intelligencer)

High School Girls Say Hell No to Boys Ranking Their Looks (Jezebel)

I’m Fat and Not Fit—So Where Do I Fit In? (Self)

Things I’m loving this week:

I’m still cranking through my test knit - I’m about 60% done and I know I’m going to LOVE IT when it’s finished. It’s a shawl and I really love the pattern, and I can see myself making several of these either for myself or as gifts.

Also I’m coming to the end of my March No Shopping challenge - I’m glad I did it but I’m ready to get some new things for spring. I’ve been really struggling with my closet, partially because we’re in this weird time of year where it’s warming up but not completely warm so I can’t switch over my closet yet, but I’m SO TIRED of all the winter things that I’ve been wearing for months. I’m definitely ready to add a few pops of color into my wardrobe.

Enjoy your weekend!